however fallible

New Home

2011-11-25T14:34:00.000-05:00

The Revolution continues here.

187

2011-08-14T12:24:00.000-04:00

no tower of babel was required. he understood nothing anyone said
in any language. not even any of the nonsense he himself continually
spewed. but, dumbfounded, might this not have been a heaven too?

.
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186

2011-08-02T20:11:00.000-04:00

his was the surest of paths,
futility never needed to be sought.

185

2011-06-28T10:32:00.001-04:00

mornings would always elude him
—there was simply no awakening.

.
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184

2011-06-03T15:26:00.004-04:00

some sought symbols,
but found only things.
others sought things,
but found only symbols.
he, however, remained unsure
and would not settle for either.

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183

2011-04-07T14:30:00.001-04:00

he suspected that he had entered a new phase
—one in which it would appear that nothing,
absolutely nothing, had changed.

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182

2011-01-17T13:22:00.001-05:00

his limp only became apparent
when he sat completely still.

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181

2011-01-03T12:33:00.002-05:00

sitting on the side of the road,
he would once again find himself
enveloped in a fog of clarity.

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180

2010-12-09T14:44:00.001-05:00

he looked up; but, in a brief moment of honesty,
had to admit that the view was essentially the same.

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179

2010-12-04T10:30:00.001-05:00

setting down his cup, it readily found the ground of its world;
while his simply fell away.

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178

2010-11-21T10:52:00.001-05:00

unsupported
he would lean into the light.

177

2010-11-21T09:06:00.001-05:00

he might have felt that life was fleeting,
yet even that would have been overstating it.

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176

2010-08-30T13:53:00.001-04:00

the curtains had been drawn
yet light still spilled into the room,
leaving him to wonder
whether it was the world or him
that had sprung a leak.

.
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175

2010-08-18T12:21:00.001-04:00

he suspected that freedom,
if freedom there were,
would lie not in choosing
but rather in remaining
within the unsupported.

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174

2010-04-10T08:51:00.000-04:00

even though so much was denied him
he always had the melancholy surface of things.

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173

2010-01-31T20:33:00.007-05:00

for him
the insignificant
would always
provide succour.

172

2009-12-23T20:26:00.004-05:00

it seemed that he was never able to look away,
though such inner insomnia also had its price.

171

2009-12-11T12:28:00.010-05:00

all attempts at clarity,
especially those successful,
only ever seemed to lead
to further obscurity.

170

2009-11-22T13:40:00.003-05:00

there came a point when it appeared
that those who genuinely cared,
not for themselves but for others,
could only ever live in perpetual grief.

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169

2009-11-16T21:00:00.003-05:00

though quite sombre by nature,
he nonetheless found it difficult
to take things too seriously;
especially upon realizing that eternity
was only ever perceived
in the most fleeting of glimpses.

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168

2009-11-07T09:03:00.003-05:00

and what of the fact that the lightness he often felt
could just as easily bear down with incredible force
almost crushing him?

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167

2009-10-26T16:56:00.007-04:00

of course, there were rough patches, that was inevitable. what was
unsettling was the fact that his pleasures, too, were quite unforgiving.
leaving him to marvel that he experienced any joy at all, even at the
best of times.

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166

2009-10-14T11:24:00.003-04:00

the day eventually came,
which of course was no surprise,
when he began to wonder
how to discern between true silence
and what he suspected to be
a certain inner deafness
to which he seemed increasingly prone.

. .

165

2009-10-05T17:37:00.003-04:00

he never ceased to be amazed at just how far
the tendrils of his inattention seemed to extend.

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164

2009-09-26T08:46:00.005-04:00

while sitting there, waiting for his lunch,
he began to ponder his options.

but no matter what he came up with
it always came down to pouring
from the empty into the void.

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163

2009-09-21T13:38:00.005-04:00

the world always appeared to offer a choice:
one could plunge into it
or simply skate across its surface—

either way he was left gasping for air.

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162

2009-09-07T11:14:00.003-04:00

it became increasingly apparent
that transcendence and immanence
were actually synonymous.

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161

2009-09-03T08:22:00.002-04:00

beauty has no memory.

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160

2009-08-31T20:12:00.003-04:00

each morning,
his first sight
was of the unseen.

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159

2009-08-29T09:21:00.003-04:00

an ecstasy of truth
— no doubt,
but it was far
from ecstatic.

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158

2009-08-26T16:19:00.003-04:00

often, he found
the best companion
to be an empty chair
—perhaps a little too often.

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157

2009-08-24T10:40:00.003-04:00

it seemed that his disasters
were, for the most part,
geometric.

.
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156

2009-07-28T20:50:00.004-04:00

going to take his seat,
it suddenly dawned on him
that, no matter where he sat,
he always seemed to be sitting
on the edge of the light.

.
.

155

2009-07-22T17:21:00.000-04:00

mouth full of sand;
the shore lies within.

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154

2009-07-18T09:24:00.006-04:00

it appeared that one of the most common mistakes was in equating
perfection with happiness, for undoubtedly there was also no shortage
of what he had come to term "dark perfection."

.
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153

2009-07-09T11:01:00.003-04:00

having sacrificed the better part of himself,
he now suspected that only those offerings
that were proffered by no one,
to no one,
would be accepted.

.
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152

2009-07-07T12:00:00.004-04:00

overgrown,
his garden produced
but a single flower—
absence.

.
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151

2009-07-01T11:44:00.004-04:00

in what, for him, amounted to grace,
whenever it all went to hell in a handcart,
(as it almost always inevitably did)
he tended to find even the desolation
resplendent.

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150

2009-06-27T07:58:00.001-04:00

what if we spoke
from the world instead?

.
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149

2009-06-24T18:50:00.008-04:00

it didn't seem to matter where he was, or where he went, his doubt,
as well as that of others, always followed him – even more faithfully
than his own shadow.

.
.

148

2009-06-18T11:55:00.007-04:00

he could often be found
looking out the window,
gazing towards the origin.
until that inevitable day
when he will have turned
and gone to stand blind
on the threshold.

.
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147

2009-06-17T08:46:00.003-04:00

being a true friend,
grief was always
there for him.

.
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146

2009-06-16T10:08:00.009-04:00

rising early he took the opportunity to watch the world form.

the rest of the day would then be spent wondering why it never
actually amounted to anything substantial.

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145

2009-06-12T13:47:00.003-04:00

to his ever-increasing dismay, he came to suspect that it wasn't the truth
that was being sought, but rather only the experience of truth--and even
then only if it was pleasant.

.
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144

2009-06-11T08:10:00.006-04:00

it was easy to turn away from himself, or so it seemed, but no matter
how hard he tried it seemed impossible to turn away from others.

.
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143

2009-06-08T10:48:00.003-04:00

cupping his hand to his ear,
he closed his eyes
and held his breath,
listening for even
the faintest echo
of the light.

.
.

142

2009-06-04T10:16:00.002-04:00

all too aware

of the fragility of the world,

he retreated into his shell

in order to reacquaint himself

with his own.

141

2009-05-31T08:18:00.004-04:00

twigs... pebbles...
shards of glass...
even scattered,
suffice as nest.
.
.

140

2009-05-29T14:29:00.003-04:00

perhaps life
itself was
the fissure.
.
.

139

2009-05-25T15:47:00.003-04:00

messiahs,
if messiahs there were,
grew slowly,
had to be tended with care.
although he suspected
that any fruit they might bear
was already to be found,
full and ripe, in the hole
into which the seed
had fallen.
.
.

138

2009-05-23T10:39:00.002-04:00

gently lifting the veil,
he discovered the obvious:
nothing had been hidden after all.
.
.

137

2009-05-22T09:09:00.003-04:00

in spite of everything,
the sky always found its place —
even when scattered across the lawn.
.
.

136

2009-05-21T08:16:00.003-04:00

silence too
was waiting
to be slayed.
.
.

135

2009-05-12T12:50:00.005-04:00

needing something warm to drink,
he put an empty tea bag
into an empty cup
and let it steep.

.

134

2009-05-05T16:47:00.005-04:00

the time had come
to let the world
dictate his vision

.

133

2009-04-15T08:20:00.008-04:00

one day, passing the shelves in his garage, he thought that it might be
worth an attempt to store the sun in some jars. over the following
weeks he carefully bottled what he felt would be a sufficient amount in
case of emergency. but after the winter had passed, he looked at the
glowing collection and thought it all seemed so selfish; so he took off
all the lids and waited for the clouds.

132

2009-04-13T12:48:00.004-04:00

he constructed monuments
to a forgotten gaze.

.

131

2009-04-10T11:41:00.004-04:00

over the years he had come to prefer the existence of a hermit--
it was so much easier to renounce his solitude when he was alone.

.

130

2009-04-09T14:27:00.008-04:00

there was a lot of talk about victory, but he wasn't sure he saw anything
that needed defeating.

besides, on the few occasions that he did decide to join in, by the time
he put on his armor and chose the appropriate weapon the battle was
already over anyway.

.

129

2009-04-06T20:37:00.005-04:00

messengers came, in all shapes and sizes,
telling him things of greater or lesser import.
yet, no matter the message they carried,
he always received them and gave them his full attention,
so that each and every one might depart unburdened.

.

128

2009-04-04T12:06:00.005-04:00

unlike others
he was acutely aware
whenever he went absent

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127

2009-03-30T19:39:00.009-04:00

someone mentioned that they were putting on some music in order to
drown out the music playing in their head. as this sounded like a
plausible methodology, he decided to try a similar strategy in
regards to stupidity.

after several attempts he deemed the experiment a success, but he
came out looking the fool just the same.

.

126

2009-03-30T12:13:00.003-04:00

he found it preferable
to keep the eyes open
on the off chance that he might
catch a glimpse of the breathless

.

125

2009-03-29T15:26:00.005-04:00

no longer expecting anything
from anyone
he was soon shattered
by kindness

.

124

2009-03-27T10:00:00.004-04:00

after flailing about for so many years
he was out of gestures

time to let the world

.

123

2009-03-26T14:03:00.003-04:00

he slipped quietly into himself
not as an end but as a means

.

122

2009-03-25T13:06:00.006-04:00

with each greeting his sense of responsibility
grew beyond its already infinite proportions

fortunately he saw this not as a burden
but as a blessing

.

121

2009-03-19T11:34:00.003-04:00

each morning
with the first word
silence began

.

120

2009-03-16T17:26:00.007-04:00

the days tended to slip away, and once again the dark had crept up on
him. staring into it he mustered his courage, firm in the belief that if
he could get past the inevitable feeling of futility he would be able to
catch a glimpse of the truly useless.

.

119

2009-03-15T17:22:00.004-04:00

the barbarians weren't at the gate
they were within

always had been

so who was it that he had been battling all these years?

.

118

2009-03-15T17:13:00.004-04:00

one, three or thousands
in the end not even the number
of skies would matter

.

117

2009-03-12T11:32:00.008-04:00

even something as straightforward
as slicing a loaf of bread
could be overwhelming

so he set down his knife
and let the light cut through him instead

.

116

2009-03-11T13:01:00.008-04:00

it was tempting to conclude that
all were just blisters on the void

.

115

2009-03-11T10:27:00.012-04:00

breach
or light stretched taut
still the abyss
glorious

.

114

2009-03-10T18:25:00.011-04:00

each note was played
on a broken string

.

113

2009-03-06T19:47:00.006-05:00

though guilt was typically crushing
he thrived in simple regret

.

112

2009-03-01T19:10:00.004-05:00

trusting no one
he had nowhere to turn
but the sky

.

111

2009-02-28T15:41:00.005-05:00

moments of indecision
tended to be those
most pregnant with possibility

and hence were often
the most lucid

.

110

2009-02-24T14:23:00.004-05:00

windowless
doorless
his home was many
and none

.

109

2009-02-19T18:39:00.005-05:00

the most critical questions
he answered
not intellectually
but with his actions
or more importantly his inaction

.

108

2009-02-18T13:07:00.007-05:00

then there were those stretches
sometimes days or weeks
when though still vivid
all seemed muffled
by the weight of the familiar

.

107

2009-02-15T18:40:00.010-05:00

thoughts too had their forensic use:
to delicately dust for clues
of a missing self

.

106

2009-02-14T12:00:00.003-05:00

tainted by the sun
he caught a glimpse
of what fed his sight

.

105

2009-02-12T15:14:00.008-05:00

he thread his way
between the unacceptable
and the impossible

yet drove headlong into...

.

104

2009-02-12T09:24:00.003-05:00

his life being a form of crude via negativa,
it was only through pain that he learned
not to confuse the abyss of the wound
with selflessness.

.

103

2009-02-09T18:10:00.007-05:00

one day
while out taking a stroll
he paused midstride
unblinking
his breath apparently suspended

after what seemed a brief dispersal
he resumed his saunter
noting with typical lack of concern
that the unremarkable
often had such an effect

.

102

2009-02-07T10:41:00.004-05:00

he lived alone yet
more and more often
he found himself walking
across a room
or down the hall
as quietly as possible
and often on tiptoe

.

101

2009-02-06T18:11:00.003-05:00

though prone to such shortcomings
he hoped to never again confuse
the inexcusable with the unforgivable

.

100

2009-02-03T18:27:00.004-05:00

exhausted by the mundane
one merely had to settle
into the banal

.

099

2009-02-03T15:07:00.005-05:00

there were days too
when nothing needed to be said
when the game was simply
to watch the petals fall

.

098

2009-01-31T21:29:00.005-05:00

there was an indescribable sadness in realizing
that after having opened a door and stepped
through it, one inevitably pulled it closed again.

.

097

2009-01-31T16:14:00.006-05:00

having accepted death
he was free of premonitions

now if only he could avoid
stumbling over the usual clichés

.

096

2009-01-30T13:17:00.005-05:00

though the inadvertent mumbling and gibberish often annoyed others,
he would continue in his attempts to sculpt air into something formless

.

095

2009-01-29T17:05:00.002-05:00

stepping outside of himself
he felt more enclosed than ever

.

094

2009-01-29T16:54:00.007-05:00

returning home he pulled up to the house and parked the truck. but
before getting out he glanced at the odometer — so many miles for
one who never moved.

.

093

2009-01-20T21:38:00.005-05:00

one could never be sure
if the erosion was in oneself
or the world

though knowing
wouldn't change anything
anyway

.

092

2009-01-19T18:39:00.002-05:00

it only ever got
as dark as the light

.

091

2009-01-18T16:03:00.005-05:00

he wrote a little note
to remind himself
that he was not there

.

090

2009-01-18T15:58:00.003-05:00

distances were no longer measured
by any objective standard
but rather according to
vague degrees of concern

.

089

2009-01-16T18:09:00.003-05:00

he listened intently to the sun
turned all his faces
toward its echoes

.